Ok, so i make good grades, i don’t drink, i don’t smoke. Im a good kid. But the way things are looking, i’m going no where fast. I keep telling myself, “this is the right decision.” Every time, it’s a mistake. Why is it that I can make an A in Chemistry but not when it comes to me and someone else’s chemistry. I’ll never get this right. AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

That’s what song i’m listening to right now. It’s pretty good. About a girl giving her everything to  some stupid boy and he crushes her hopes and dreams. It’s really good. Makes me think.

Ok so anyways, this weekend was pretty good overall. It had its ups and downs. I went to the movies to see Smokin’ Aces and had lots of trouble trying to get in because evidently a student i.d. doesn’t cut it. But i nagged my way into that theater. There was no stopping this determined girl. I must say, after all the hard work I put into seeing that movie, it was well worth it. A+ Smokin’ Aces.

 Speaking of being determined, I informed my parents that I was thinking about getting a law degree and while they were proud of me, jesse was not. He doesn’t want me to leave, but you got to do what you got to do. I’m still not positive it’s what I want to do but if I had a law degree I could work my way to governor, senator, and maybe one day president. Then I could definitely change the world. I would also really like to be a teacher though. I still have lots of thinking left to do.

I really miss hanging out with my friends. I should’ve made time for them this weekend, but I was already so busy. I hope they forgive me. At least I’ll get to see some of them tomorrow at school. Unfortunately I don’t know when I’ll see the Kelvinator again. Stupid Keri. Haha, Stupid Keri, that makes me think of Stupid Boy. I’m not listening to that anymore, now i’m listening to Better than Ezra, which is an exceptional band.

Hey…..I miss you!

I click on the link. The page opens. The title makes me laugh. I read on. I’m not laughing anymore.

I heard it all. I heard what you said about me. You think I’m amazing. You say you’d stand up against problems that came our way. You think I’m beautiful, smart, and funny. You say you’re going insane over me. I heard it all. But did I really take it in? Well, I’ll give it a try. I’m trying. I tried. I’m scared. Scared of the decision I have to make. Scared of the unfortunate events and the fortunate ones that may follow. Scared of change. It’s been so long. I’m not used to this feeling. I’m not used to these words. I’m still not quite sure if I’m used to you. I want to be. I try to be. I’m trying to be. I tried. It’s hard. Your high class. I’m way down here. The sun shines brightly on your face each morning. I sometimes wake to a dark storm. I don’t want you to know. I’m scared. I’m confused. I don’t know. I’m trying because I heard. I heard what you said about me.

That’s right, I was forced into posting tonight.But it’s ok, I can see that it has been a while. So I had to work tonight, 5-9, yet here I am at 8:44 posting. I got sent home early because there was “too many workers.” Why did I get sent home, I need the money. Oh well, at least I have more time to do my english homework which I haven’t started yet. Don’t worry Mrs. Allan, as soon as I click publish, Im going to begin this lovely assignment.  Anyways, not much has happened lately that is worth typing about, except for the fight me and jesse recently had. That was a great fight, he bought me new shoes in the end. That’s terrible sounding. I didn’t actually enjoy the fight itself, I just enjoyed the outcome. They are the cutest, most painful shoes on the planet. I’m so in love with them. Do you know what I’m not in love with? Macbeth!!!Well I guess I’ll start on the assignment before I find something to type about.

So anyways, I got the job at Pizza Hut and I start tomorrow. I’ve had a job before, but I don’t remember being this nervous. I shouldn’t be nervous at all. It’s just me, some guys, and a telephone. How hard can it be? Oh wait, I’m forgetting about the rude customers. I guess while they complain I’ll zone out and think about the money that’s on my way and the car. I’m getting my license really soon. Maybe next weekend. Then I just have to save up my money and once my aunt sees that I’m responsible, I’ll have a car. I’m so excited. I’m actually too excited to type anymore, so this is where it ends. Goodbye reader.

Not you the reader, but you the blog. I’ve been so busy lately, looking for a job, studying for midterms, and studyin for my driving test. But now midterms are out of the way and I have an interview today at Pizza Hut. Things are going pretty well for me now. I made all A’s and one B on my midterms and the staff at Pizza Hut consists of 13 guys and 2 girls, one being myself, if i get the job. Right now, I’m all smiles. Oh yeah, Kelvin’s gone now, thats the one sad thing. I miss that kid. Even though we just became friends this year, he was the kind of guy I could see myself being friends with him for a long time. Im really going miss him, but we’re still going to keep in touch, at least we better. Well that’s all for now.

Thanks for the idea for my title mrs. a. It’s Friday, and I’m in such a good mood. I found out today that I have a 95 in Algebra 2, a 96 in Spanish 2, and I picked up an application at Pizza Hut, where I’m pretty sure I’ll be getting the job. I walked into Pizza Hut where I was received by an older woman, who i assume was the manager, and two younger goofy guys. I asked the woman very politely if they were hiring and if I could have an application and the following is the response I got back from, not the woman, but the two guys. “Yes, Yes, of course we’re hiring, give her an application.” It was hilarious how excited these guys were that I might join their staff. I walked in hoping for a possible job and left with a major self-esteem boost. It was great. I also got to practice my driving today. I almost feel guilty that my aunt lets me practice with her CRV knowing I don’t have my permit, so if I get in a wreck, her insurance won’t cover it. I also don’t act on that feeling of guilt because the feelings of sheer joy and comfort behind that wheel totally out weigh any other feeling. Sorry if that’s a little mean, but I’m an excellent driver. Now all I need to do is study the book and I can get my license, and a couple months later I’ll be getting my first car. Im so happy. Now onto a sadder subject, and please, try to hold back your tears once you finish reading this. I have to take time out of my Saturday and Sunday to study. I know, terrible isn’t it? Well, good thing it’s not Saturday now, because I’m off to watch movies and be with friends. Farewell, and in the words of Mrs. Allan, “Don’t run with scissors!”

Ok, so maybe I’m not close to death, but it sure feels like it. Every time I turn around, Im bombarded by piles and piles of papers, all titled, Mid Term Review.I think I’m going to lose it. But its ok, i’ll get a grip on things eventually (spoken while biting nails). O look, a math midterm!

Sometimes a person’s feelings are uncontrollable. Sometimes when u make a good friend u like to tell them whats goin on with those feelings. Sometimes when u start to like someone u let them in on ur secrets. But sometimes u get so close but don’t even bother to find out how that person feels about u, and someone gets hurt. I didn’t mean to hurt anyone. I’ve just been bein myself. Im sorry for everything and i guess this is where it ends.Thanks for the memories. Bye!